Wednesday, January 16, 2013

This New Year...


I was at the bank recently and the teller asked me of 2013 was going to be a good year?  I answered with an affirming YES but as I thought about it, I realized I have no idea what this year is going to bring.  I was struck by the realization of how little control I actually have over what is to come.  Will I have to bury a loved one? Will my husband lose his job?  Will I get a phone call telling me that the test results we not good? No, I really have no idea what this year will bring and that can be kind of scary.

The future and the fear of what it might hold is something I struggle with.  I have a feeling I am not alone in this.  It is hard not knowing…not being able to control the outcome.  I worry about my kids and the choices they will make.  I worry about my health; will cancer take me like it did my mom?  I worry about Eric dying and how I would survive that.  It is easy to worry once you get going.

There is a part of me that believes that by worrying I will somehow prepare myself for the things I fear. That I have some control.   That I will be able to get through it easier.  That it won’t hurt as much.  Which is the furthest thing from the truth.  In reality, worry accomplishes nothing good in my life.  When I worry about the future it only serves to cripple me in the present.  It robs me of experiencing and participating in the goodness and love that is happening all around me in this very moment.

I want to learn how to live in the present.  I think that is where God wants me to be.  He doesn’t want me live in the past or in the future.  He wants me to live in the here and now.  He wants me to trust Him with the future and not worry about what may come.  He wants me to enjoy the life he has given me.  He wants me to love and experience being loved.  He wants heal my hurts and make me whole.  He wants me to laugh and sing and dance. 

I don’t know what this year will bring.  I am sure there will be difficult, hard things I will face but there will also be good things as well.  So, I am going to try to worry less about the things I fear might happen and focus more on what is actually happening.  I am going to try to live in the present and leave the future to God.  I am going to try to live… really live.

15 comments:

  1. Somebody needs to preach a sermon! You better be careful because before you know it someone in the church will learn that you have actual thoughts in your brain. When that happens people usually wind up preaching a sermon or two on Sunday. The church loves lay preachers! Great post!

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    1. Your sermon on Sunday was part of the insiration for this post!No wonder you liked it :) Thanks Josh!

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  2. Preach it sister! And...easier said than done. I hate fear and worry and yet I know it consumes me more that it should, especially when I start down the...but I have very real things to worry about. Too bad. Live in the moment and cling to the good stuff. This was great.

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  3. Awesome Kathy!! I hope to laugh with you, and maybe dance, but probable not sing, in 2013 with you. And be present as well. Reminds me of a part in a song, Can't promise tomorrow, but I'll promise tonight!! LOL

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    1. oh, you crack me up! I seem to butt dial people a lot and I also happen to sing in the car a lot (you know the kind of singing i am talking about) these two will someday happen at the same time.

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    2. That is going to be awesome when it does!!!

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  4. I just wrote about worry this morning, too. I also am wanting to live.

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    1. It must be in the air huh? Here is to Living in 2013!

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  5. josh stole my comment. figures... wonderful post kathy - thank you for naming so much of what goes one for some of us. and yes, i was thinking that this would be a wonderful sermon -- and connected to josh's sermon from sunday. yes josh, i was actually listening.

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    1. Annie Gray you bring many smiles and much joy to my life... thanks!

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    2. back at ya kathy. i've been trying to find a box big enough to pack you in...you are coming with me when i move

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  6. Great post Kathy! I always enjoy your insight in your blogs. This is an area that I've struggled with as well, not worrying and staying in the present. I agree with you, I don't think God wants that for us, I think he wants us to trust him and live in the present, whatever that may be. I plan to continue working on practicing that myself in 2013.

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    1. Thanks for the encouraging words Jessica!

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